plz talk dirty to me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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