So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
