Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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