i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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