apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
