Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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