i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We left the knife in your bed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
