Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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