OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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