when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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