clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
