so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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