Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
