I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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