The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
