I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
