I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
