Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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