My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
