So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
