He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
