My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
