You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
