it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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