I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
