yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
