I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
