Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I enjoy the company of your penis
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