NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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