why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
