at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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