____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Soap is not a condiment
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
