She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
