seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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