My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your cock deserves a montage
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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