oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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