He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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