I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
