Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's get the cat blown out
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
