So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
