Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
