I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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