So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
