I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
