I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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