Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
