BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this boner is exhausting
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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