I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
