On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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