One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
