I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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