its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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