Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
