Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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