they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
