Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
