Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize