I've blown a few things in my day
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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