i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
