I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
