We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We don't watch enough power rangers
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
