I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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