im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
