Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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