Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
