she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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