just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize