Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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