just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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