Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize