I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize