I think my vagina is haunted
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
