PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
