I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
