There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do herpes really smell.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Randomize
